Dancing

Guohua told our guide Lynne that it was a good thing she was with us since she remembered where our hotel was and told the cab driver so we got home. I laughed, we of course had the hotel address and would have made it back but Guohua is busy not only being helpful, but sometimes almost trying to be in charge. She calls the waitress over, she leads the way when we walk, she tries to fix everything. She walks far ahead - and doesn't look back to see if we're there. She charges forward as if on a mission, but isn't used to a family that she is part of. She resists walking side by side arm in arm - unless its Anna she is playing with and caring for. She won't participate in decisions for things for her - even to buy a dictionary she can use. And then there are moments when she does come and just enjoy the moment with us all: blowing bubbles, putting her feet in the water, running around the park. And she'll come and check on me every few minutes in the hotel rooms if I'm with her. We spent an hour or more doing alphabet and simple reading - she did pretty well getting thru a level 1 book even sounding out some words.

She told Lynne that she had to be very independent - she knew that at 18 there was no place for her in the orphanage. If she didn't get into a government college (she would have to pass many difficult tests and compete with other children that go to special classes for months), she would have to have a job. Her sense is that if she is helpful, the orphanage might have helped her get training in a trade...and this from a 12-year old.

So what does family mean when you have so little experience to understand that a mother and father are competent and will care for you? That your future is forever with them? That you can relax? I know there is lots of work ahead and probably some wearying moments but on the other hand I've already made the transition...this is my child and worth every moment.